TBN #25
Bawdy Positivity ➕➕➕
Happy April, friend!
The other day I was looking for something to watch and stumbled across the movie, Bachelorette (this is not a movie review). I thought I was about to watch your typical all-women foursome group (think: Bridesmaids, Sex and The City, Harlem, Mean Girls, etc.) engage in debaucherous pre-wedding fun. Instead, I got 90 minutes worth of toxic girl friendships and countless fat-shaming commentary. If you have not seen the movie, Rebel Wilson’s character, Becky, is constantly fat-shamed by her three other so-called friends who are surprised she is getting married because of how she looks and lack of popularity in college.
I know what you’re thinking. Amber, where are you going with this? Just stick with me for a few…
Watching the movie reminded me of how easy it is to normalize other-ing people. In this case, it’s fat shaming (p.s. if you are not familiar with the term, check out the Basics and the Study Hall below). Years ago, I may not have picked up on it or had the language we have now to describe what I witnessed taking place in the movie. However, body size is one of the social identities we do not talk enough about in DEI education. While race, ethnicity, gender and ability may be more at the forefront for most people. Our body size is just as much a part of our appearance as other identities.
Before you say body size—fatness and thinness— are subjective, ask yourself, are they really? Body size is not simply based on perception. There are real structural issues around body size.
Our bodies are measured by numbers, including the problematic body mass index scale, and placed into size categories (small, m, l, xl, xxl, plus, big and tall, etc.). In addition, many states legally allow employers to practice weight discrimination. Not to mention, dating apps are programmed to rank thinner people as more attractive. Looking at you Tinder.
However, a body is only a body. People of all sizes deserve dignity. It is important that the judgments we make about others are based on actual fact and evidence, not discriminatory practices and socially constructed standards. There’s more that we can all learn about the body movement.
Let’s get into it…
WEEKLY UPDATE
CLIFF NOTES: IN CASE YOU MISSED IT…
April is Earth Month, Arab-American Heritage Month, World Autism Awareness Month, National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and Celebrate Diversity Month
Passover (April 5-April 13)
Ramadan (March 22-April 21)
Streaming movies feature more diversity than cinema movies
Upholding the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)
BENTON’S BASICS: HOW TO RESPOND TO FAT-SHAMING
Long story short…
In a recent HuffPost article, Christine Byrne, an eating disorder dietitian, discussed how to respond to fat-shaming comments. Byrne suggested using “I feel” or “I don’t” statements as a comfortable approach. Here are some examples:
“I just don’t like to talk negatively about my body or other people’s bodies.”
“I noticed that I feel a lot better when I don’t criticize my body or other people’s bodies.”
“I’ve noticed that I feel a lot better when I don’t worry about what I eat so much.”
“I don’t talk about bodies that way.”
In addition, if you find yourself thinking or saying fat-shaming thoughts about yourself, try your best to stop. Here is an affirmation to practice: I feel confident in my body. There are so many things that my body can do. There is no other body like mine and I celebrate that.
STUDY HALL: BODY TERMS
For this week’s study hall, I’m sharing body terminology so you’re informed.
Anti-fat - the implicit and explicit bias of overweight individuals that is rooted in a sense of blame and presumed moral failing (source)
Body positivity - Body positivity refers to the assertion that all people deserve to have a positive body image, regardless of how society and popular culture view ideal shape, size, and appearance (source)
Body neutrality - the idea that we can accept our bodies as vessels that carry us through life, and not attach positive or negative feelings to our physicality (source)
Diet culture - promotes restriction, obsession around food and exercise, avoiding and stigmatizing fatness, and anxiety about the social, physical, and romantic consequences of failing to perform these behaviors.
Fat phobia - pathological fear of fatness (source)
Fat shaming - the action or practice of humiliating someone judged to be fat or overweight by making mocking or critical comments about their size.
Weight stigma (also known as body stigma) - a form of discrimination based on a person’s body weight; "social rejection and devaluation that accrues to those who do not comply with prevailing social norms of adequate body weight and shape” (source)
HOMEWORK: GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE
What I’m Reading This Month 📚: Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) by Amy Gallo
What I’m Watching 📺: I need something (semi-)light-hearted to watch these days. The Company You Keep is a good mix of spy action and romance.
What I’m Snacking On 🍪: Fish Jerky. I may never reach for beef jerky again.
DANCE BREAK: BODY
When I think of body positivity, my mind immediately thought of Megan Thee Stallion’s “Body.”
Watch this video for the clean version.
Listen to the original version.
DOUBLE TAP: WHO I’M FOLLOWING
Chrissy King is a writer, speaker, fitness and strength coach, and Creator of The Body Liberation Project™. She is also author of The Body Liberation Project: How Understanding Racism and Diet Culture Helps Cultivate Joy and Build Collective Freedom.
I’d love to hear from you!
What do you need to be better in work and in life? Send me a message or connect with me on social.
